Bernie taps Ben Shapiro for Defense Secretary in first Sanders Administration

Update: Ben Shapiro declined the Sanders invitation to be Secretary of Defense after Bernie announced that Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) would be Secretary of State.

The Internet went ballistic when conservative Jewish pundit Ben Shapiro tweeted “it’s time to bomb coal plants in China and India.”

But no one was laughing a few hours later when Sen. Bernie Sanders (D-VT) announced that Shapiro would be Defense Secretary for the first Jewish president in history, and that “we begin bombing coal plants in China and India 10 minutes after the inauguration.”

Other military targets identified by the Sanders team include the Great Wall of China and the longest high speed rail system in the world, which, coincidentally, is also in China.

“We have to look at this as if we’re fighting a war, and we are fighting a war, and the war is against climate change,” says a Sanders policy brief. “If the world is going to end in 12 years — and we think it will — then we can’t let China inherit what’s left. The bombing can’t start soon enough.”

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

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