Los Angles, Calif. — City Hall is overrun with rats and fleas that have infected at least one civil servant with typhus, a medieval disease once eradicated in first-world countries.
That typhus outbreak is a terrific opportunity to rebuild City Hall, according to Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY).
“We need to upgrade every building in the country anyway to eliminate climate change,” said Ocasio-Cortez. “Why not kill two rats with one stone by starting that project in Los Angeles?”
The cost of retrofitting every single building in the United States is unknown, but Ocasio-Cortez said that’s the wrong question.
“At the end of the day, this is an investment in our economy that should grow our wealth as a nation,” she said, “so the question isn’t how we will pay for it, but what will we do with our new shared prosperity.”
We reached out to L.A. Mayor Eric Garcetti for comment on how much “shared prosperity” it would take to rebuild City Hall, but he did not respond by press time.