New Lt. Governor boldly sets up office at Fresno bullet train station to reduce carbon footprint

California’s new Lieutenant Governor and her staff of nearly a dozen people have set up their new offices at the Fresno bullet train station in a bold bid to reduce their carbon footprint.

“My climate conscience will no longer allow me — or anyone close to me — the convenience of flying around the state,” said Eleni Kounalakis outside her Camp Creek 2-Room Tent from REI. “If people want to meet, they can just come here, where we measure our carbon footprint with a yardstick.”

The schedule for the first bullet train is not yet published, but that hasn’t deterred the intrepid ambassador and her staff.

Kounalakis is the former ambassador to Hungary under Barack Obama and president of AKT Development Corporation, one of California’s largest housing development firms.

When asked if she would postpone her personal vacation travel until the bullet train is finished, Kounalakis said, “That’s different.”

Under California’s Constitution, the Lt. Governor serves as Acting Governor whenever the Governor is absent from the state, and votes in the Senate in case of a tie.

“We don’t see the location interfering with my Constitutional duties,” Kounalakis said. “As governor, Gavin won’t even have to leave his kids to get his weekly haircut, and our tyranny of the majority in the Senate guarantees I’ll never have to cast a vote.”

“I love camping,” said one staff member who spoke to us on condition of anonymity. “We never expected to do anything anyway, and what’s the carbon footprint of that?”

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

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