Elizabeth Warren exploratory committee tests Big Waters with new policy papers

Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren’s presidential exploratory committee today announced a series of policy positions to test the Big Waters.

“My spirit guide tells us immigration, war, and gun control, are the top three concerns of real humans from sea to shining sea,” said Warren, surveying the land from Lemhi Pass high atop the Continental Divide.

Immigration Policy

No body of alien people who have been adopted temporarily shall have a vote in the Council, for only they who have been invested with titles may vote in the Council. Aliens have nothing by blood to make claim to a vote and should they have it, not knowing all the traditions of the Nation, might go against its Great Peace. In this manner the Great Peace would be endangered and perhaps be destroyed.

Updating the War Powers Act

When the Nation has for its object the establishment of the Great Peace among the people of an outside nation and that nation refuses to accept the Great Peace, then by such refusal they bring a declaration of war upon themselves. Then shall the Nation seek to establish the Great Peace by a conquest of the rebellious nation. Whenever a war against a foreign nation is pushed until that nation is about exterminated because of its refusal to accept the Great Peace, and if that nation shall by its obstinacy become exterminated, all their rights, property and territory shall become the property of the Nation

Gun Control

A certain belt of black beads shall be the emblem of the authority of the Chief to take up weapons with the People to resist invasion by enemies foreign or domestic. This shall be called a war in defense of the territory.

“These policies are known as the Great White Roots, which have spread out in the four directions from the Tree of the Great Peace,” said Warren. “Their nature is Peace and Strength. If the Eagle at the top of the Tree sees in the distance any evil approaching — or any danger threatening these policies — he will at once warn the people of the Nation.”

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