Socialist dominatrix forced to sue clients who demand free services

Political science professor Marbury Madison says she had a booming “socialist dominatrix” business until her white male capitalist clients started to identify as socialists. Now she’s suing for back pay and hoping her book sales make up for the catastrophic loss of income.

The 27-year-old mixed race professor who lectures in politics and critical thinking at New York University says she started her career as a professional dominatrix after becoming obsessed by the idea of converting capitalists into socialists with the power of her vagina.

“I was fascinated by this idea of a powerful woman who can sweep away men’s capitalist achievements, leaving only their real desires,” says Madison. “Submissive men often say they want to make their mistress happy, and what could make me happier than him becoming a socialist?”

Unfortunately for her business model, what every man really desires is free sex, and Madison found her financial self caught between the rock of her own socialist ethics and the hard male psyche.

“It was really empowering and titillating when my first client demanded free services, but after word got out I started to lose some serious money,” she says. “I knew I needed a lawyer when the rent came due on my sex dungeon.”

Before the bankruptcy, Madison only dominated white right-wing men. “When my bank account was flush, I couldn’t force myself to be cruel to any other type of man,” she says. “I mean, I know the world is run by white men, but now I have to be cruel to guys who aren’t white just to make ends meet.”

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