SAG demands actors ‘buy American’ when getting penis facial treatments

Celebrity facialist Georgia Louise had a “secret facial” made of liquified Korean baby foreskins – at least until Cate Blanchett leaked it all over New York City – and now Hollywood’s labor union wants to know why actors aren’t “buying American.”

“Who doesn’t like having their face covered in a mask of liquified foreskins cut from the penises of male infants?” asked SAG-AFTRA President Gabrielle Carteris on hearing that Kate Beckinsale was also a client.

“I get that, but I’m truly horrified that any union member would buy the serum from a foreign country when there are plenty of American foreskins available right here in the US of A,” Carteris said.

The “serum” obtained by Louise is a “cocktail formula” called Epidermal Growth Factor that is injected into actors’ faces with a “micro-needling” technique to “generate collagen and elastin, to tighten and firm the skin.” The process reportedly costs $650.

Planned Parenthood President Leana Wen said her nationwide network of abortion clinics could easily provide enough liquified foreskins to supply Hollywood’s demand.

“Our estimates are that Hollywood would only need 75 percent of the foreskins collected from the 600,000 legal abortions we induce every year,” said Wen. “There’s clearly no legitimate need to import Korean foreskins.”

SAG-AFTRA represents 160,000  media professionals, said Carteris, and “as the most distinguished entertainment and media union in the world we must lean into human rights issues like #MeToo and penis facials.”


Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.