American public universities teach young men and women that gender is a fluctuating mental state instead of a biological fact, that 200 million citizens with white skin are congenital racists, that 44 percent of all students are toxic rapists, and 46.1 percent of voters are Nazis who want to put everyone else into concentration camps.
Some students say this experience is the best four years of their lives and should be freely available to everyone. But for at least 20 percent of students, exposure to these modern ideas causes them to consider suicide.
That’s the disturbing revelation of the American College Health Association‐National College Health Assessment (ACHA‐NCHA), but the study’s lead author says the high rates of stress and mental health conditions among students should be no surprise.
“We found that 20 percent of students reported at least six stressful events related to Nazi rape culture in one year,” said Dr. Cindy Lou Who. “If I had 24 psychotic episodes brought on by social justice professors in my undergrad years, I’d have killed myself, too. Thankfully, assisted suicide wasn’t provided by the campus health center back in the day.”
But suicide isn’t the only problem on campus, according to the study. The election of Donald Trump was linked to a greater risk of a mental health diagnosis culminating in self-harm. In fact, 25 percent of students were diagnosed with a condition called “Trump Derangement Syndrome,” and nearly 20 percent had committed some form of self-harm because of it.
“We were shocked to find that not only was the ‘National Scream at the Sky on Inauguration Day’ event completely unhelpful, it was damaging in a very real clinical sense,” said Dr. Who.
“Some stressful events – like national elections – can’t be prevented and, in some cases, are completely normal,” she said. “But when they’re not, a plan should be in place for family, friends, and colleges to provide support for a presidential coup and the resulting civil war.”
A decisive majority of college professors agree that civil war would be extremely stressful, but that the alternative is unacceptable.
“I speak for everyone, and we simply cannot allow toxic Nazis and their on-campus supporters – many of whom are my students – to decide educational and reproductive policy,” said Dr. Deepak Whobris, chair of the Political Science department at Harvard University.
“As the coup gains momentum, there’s an urgent need for mental health service utilization strategies,” said Whobris. “Especially among the racial/ethnic, sexual, and gender minorities we are inciting to action at every campus war-gaming exercise.”
The study surveyed 67,308 students across 108 American colleges and universities. Asian students showed a greater risk of suicidal behavior, yet lower rates of mental health diagnoses compared to white students. Black students reported lower rates across all outcomes versus white students. The full study was published September 6, 2018 in the journal Depression and Anxiety.
Despite the study’s findings, Dr. Who also stressed that the average bachelor’s degree holder contributes $278,000 more to local economies than the average high school graduate through direct spending over the course of his or her lifetime.
“It’s not like we can just shut down the high school to rape culture pipeline,” she said. “Our economy, our national psyche – our very democracy – is at stake.”