Tomatoes worth 1 trillion Venezuelan bolivars lost as truck overturns on Highway 33


In a scene that revealed the ugly side of “farm to fork,” a truck transporting tomatoes worth 1 trillion* Venezuelan bolivars overturned Wednesday at Highway 33 and Gaffnery Road near Vernalis.

“Guess there’s no way to ketchup on paper today,” CHP posted on Facebook, prompting other state agencies to make light of the tragedy.

The Department of Finance commented, “One dollar is worth 0.0000040 bolivars. You couldn’t ketchup on paper if you wanted to.”

“It would take a fleet of ketchup trucks to carry that many bolivars,” said the person managing the Caltrans social media account.

Not everyone was amused. The Agricultural Labor Relations Board threatened to report everyone to the Department of Human Resources.

ALRB Board Member Cathryn Rivera-Hernandez said no Americans were willing to clean up the mess, and demanded that Gov. Jerry Brown import several thousand more Venezuelan refugees.

* This story has been updated. Early this morning Venezuela added two more zeroes to the value of the revolutionary bolivarian currency, but experts declined to guess what a truckload of tomatoes would be worth at close of business today. The SacBrie is committed to following this important story. See here, here, and here.

* This story has been updated again. Moments ago, the price of 50,000 lbs of tomatoes spiked to 700 billion bolivars in the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela.

* This story has been updated to reflect that 50,000 lbs of tomatoes are now worth 1 trillion bolivars. This is the last update because our editors have exhausted their ability to care about the Venezuelan exchange rate. We’ll care again when Nicolas Maduro has been laid to rest.

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

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