Governor introduces new social media challenge to empower young entrepreneurs


California State Government has developed a unique science-based social media campaign that could create a new generation of risk-taking young entrepreneurs.

Citing research that links a parasitic infection in humans with a “consistent, positive predictor of entrepreneurial activity and intentions at the national scale,” Gov. Jerry Brown will officially launch the #CatPoopChallenge this weekend.

Leading the effort will be the Bureau of Cannabis Control and the Governor’s Office of Business and Economic Development.

“Our message is that young people should smoke weed that we’ve exposed – in a controlled environment, of course – to protozoan Toxoplasma gondii,” cannabis chief Lori Ajax said. “Not only does it eliminate the paranoia that comes with getting high, but it reduces the fear of failure that inhibits new business ventures.”

Go-BIZ Director Panorea Avdis said young people don’t have to get high to participate in the #CatPoopChallenge.

“If you have cats like I do,” Avdis said, “just spending a few moments each day breathing deeply near the litter box will make you more likely to major in business and almost twice as likely to have an emphasis in management and entrepreneurship.”

Insiders say Sacramento Mayor Darrell Steinberg is on board.

“Our mission is to work together as a community to boost Sacramento’s economic prosperity by creating a pool of skilled young economic risk-takers,” said one anonymous Steinberg aide. “The #CatPoopChallenge will be a big part of our effort.”

Critics say the program could have unintended consequences, including a boom in the state’s stray cat problem as entrepreneurs race to breed high-quality incubators of the parasite.

“I don’t care how many risk-takers are willing to snort a line of cat poop,” said San Francisco SPCA president Jennifer Scarlett, who was sanctioned last year for vaporizing homeless people. “We’re already killing too many kitties.”

Concern over the program spread quickly to the Ke Kai Ola hospital for Hawaiian monk seals, and National Geographic has reported that the “kitty litter parasite is wiping out one of the earth’s rarest seals.”

The single-celled parasite “has become widespread among marine mammals, due largely to the growing number of feral cats living near watersheds,” said NatGeo.

Scientists aren’t sure if the #CatPoopChallenge will inoculate California from Socialism or encourage our youth to try the world’s least successful business model, but lack of reporting on the controversy indicates that the program won’t be cancelled any time soon.

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

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