UC student protest delivers burrito bowls to Gov. Brown, Chipotle announces recall of burrito bowls


Students from the University of California, Davis, protested government policies that force students to go hungry by delivering Chipotle burrito bowls to California legislators and Gov. Jerry Brown.

Today, Chipotle announced a recall of tainted burrito bowls.

“Anyone who even touched burrito bowl yesterday should seek immediate medical attention,” said Chipotle spokesperson Hamas Bombas.

The student protest was organized by Engorged California, a group that has already spearheaded successful campaigns to demand more taxpayer money for UC and CSU.

After delivering the Chipotle meals to the offices of Brown and the ten legislators participating in the budget conference committee, the group said it was “unfortunate” that neither Brown nor any of the legislators were among the dead.

“The reason we wish death on the governor is that so many students don’t even have enough to eat,” said Engorged California spokesman Hugh Mungous.

“Tuition costs are still soaring, but students are struggling to pay for their basic needs,” he said. “Jerry Brown and the Democratic legislature are morally unconscionable cunts who deserve to die in agony from E coli poisoning.”

Health officials say burrito bowls have caused two deaths in the city of Davis, California, but names are being withheld pending notification of next of kin. Other deaths have occurred in Arkansas, Minnesota, and New York.

Engorged California’s website says their next scheduled protest is over the morally unconscionable issue of college student obesity.

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

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