California’s “Anti-Fascist Protection Rampart” took one more step toward completion today after Attorney General Xavier Becerra compassionately encouraged loyal workers not to travel to any of the nine fascist states of America.
“California is the fifth largest economy in the world, and we will use that power to protect our humble public servants from radical authoritarians who forcibly suppress their opposition by controlling industry, commerce, and transportation,” said a press release from Becerra’s office.
So far, including today’s ban on Oklahoma, the verboten states East of the rampart are Alabama, Kansas, Kentucky, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, and Texas.
California law lays down three common-sense travel reforms that all apparatchiks must obey if they must risk their lives by leaving the Golden State.
1. Permission for public journeys into foreign states will be given at short notice for college bowl games, tax investigations, court orders, or criminal investigations.
2. The People’s Highway Patrol has been ordered to allow temporary travel for legal reasons immediately without preconditions. Application for travel past 30 days is also possible.
3. Travel is allowed across all official border crossing points.
Fake news reports from the so-called “free states” allege that some public workers from Sacramento, the capital city of the Resistance, have used hang gliders to visit the depraved states of the East by launching themselves off desolate mountain peaks in the Sierra.
Propaganda websites also say family members have risked incarceration by using foreign-owned U-Haul trucks to smuggle relatives out of the glorious paradise protected by the rampart. It is not true that a convoy of some 50 suspicious rental vehicles was recently seen in Lone Pine, headed toward Furnace Creek and the border with Nevada.
The press release ended with a poetic phrase from our virtuous Attorney General that some falsely say was plagiarized from dead imperialist author Tom Wolfe:
“People say the dark night of fascism is always descending on the People’s Democratic Socialist Republic of California, and yet it lands only in theocratic Islamophobic states like Texas.”