When I heard former New York Times Executive Editor Jill Abramson carries a Barack Obama Therapy Doll in her purse, I said to my friends-with-benefits: “Why didn’t I think of that?” I bought one so I could comfort myself like Jill.

“It’s easy to look at what’s happening in Washington DC and despair,” said Jill, who teaches creative writing at Harvard these days. “That’s why I carry a little plastic Obama doll in my purse. … you have to take comfort where you can find it in Donald Trump’s America.”

Donald Trump tweets? Despair! Stimulus!

Donald Trump sues California? Despair! Stimulus! Stimulus!

Donald Trump reports 313,000 new jobs and CNN says “outstanding”? Despair! Stimulus! Stimulus! Stimulus! Stimulus! Stimulus!

Donald Trump goes to North Korea? Despair! Stimulus! Stimulus! Stimulus! Stimulus! Stimulus! Stimulus! Stimulus! Stimulus! Stimulus! Stimulus!

Now I carry little Barack in my man-purse wherever I go. I whip him out whenever Donald Trump reminds me that we had a Progressive president in the Oval Orifice until recently, and we can have one again. And again. And again. And again. Yes! We! Can!

In Donald Trump’s America, you have to pleasure yourself whenever you can. And no one pleasures you like Barack.