People of Weed burn town to ground after first pot license goes to San Diego


California issued its first commercial marijuana licenses this week, and residents of Weed responded by setting fire to the town that’s fifty miles from the Oregon border and under the wing of Mt. Shasta. So far, the Weed Fire has burned 120 homes and half the businesses.

The state announced that the first license for recreational retail sales went to Torrey Holistics in San Diego. More licenses will be awarded after the legal marijuana market officially opens on Jan. 1, 2018.

“San Diego? That was our license, fair and square,” said Weed mayor Ken Palfini. “The people of Weed have every reason to burn this motherfucker down.”

Tony Hall, the former owner of a chemical distribution company who opened Torrey Holistics two years ago, said he’s sorry that Weed wasn’t chosen, but sees recreational marijuana taking off like the wine and craft beer industries.

“Weed was the obvious choice, man,” said Hall. “But burning down their own town? What are they, from Ferguson?”

The state’s online system to apply for a license opened just one week ago, and Hall’s company submitted a 60-page lease, diagrams, and a detailed business plan.

When asked if Weed had submitted a plan, Mayor Palfini said, “Plan? We don’t need no stinkin’ plan. The name of our town is Weed.”

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.