Restaurant run by nude toxic white male chefs aims to smash stigma


Portland, Oregon, has opened a restaurant for diners who prefer to see and be seen while eating food prepared by members of a high-risk community.

VoyeRisque opened on Dec. 1 next to Voodoo Doughnuts in downtown Portland, and the classically-trained gourmets are hoping to smash misconceptions about how male toxicity is transmitted – one plate at a time.

“We’re infected by the white male virus,” said owner Spencer Raymond, wearing nothing but an apron emblazoned with that message. “By opening a pop-up restaurant run entirely by nude hetero white men, we’re smashing the cultural lie that food prepared by white-positive chefs can spread the virus.”

Raymond’s staff also wear nothing but aprons printed with their own personalized messages, such as “Real women love me” and “Don’t worry, my gun fires blanks.”

Although the waiters and kitchen staff will be completely nude under their aprons, officials say the health risk is far less than eating at Chipotle.

“The entire staff will shower and shave several times during their shift,” said Multnomah County Chair Deborah Kafoury. “It makes me want to eat there just thinking about it.”

Guests at the 42-seat eatery will be instructed not to “touch the merchandise” and to keep their own clothes on as they dine on fine French fare including slow-cooked coq au vin and chicken roulade stuffed with brussels sprouts walnuts and pecorino.

The idea for VoyeRisque came when Raymond realized that 97 percent of the men accused of sexual harassment are white Democrats who claim that White Privilege and Toxic Masculinity are destroying America.

“That is, quite literally, complete bullshit,” Raymond said. “Most of the toxic men are feminists, and VoyeRisque is a delicious safe space for real women who are tired of the propaganda.”

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

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