In a surprise move late last night, the Arizona legislature passed a complete and total ban on all firearms and Gov. Doug Ducey signed it into law. California and Mexico immediately invaded, and the 48th state is now known as Mexifornia.
“We needed to do something about gun safety,” said the former governor from an undisclosed location. “We just didn’t expect a military coup.”
California Gov. Jerry Brown said he staged the coup with Mexican officials and drug cartel leaders for two reasons.
“First, Arizona originally belonged to indigenous peoples before it belonged to Spain and then Mexico,” said Brown from his command post on what used to be the Fort Yuma-Quechan Indian Reservation. “Second, the coalition government of Mexifornia strongly believes in gun safety and open borders. We will vigorously defend the traditional ownership of this territory against the usurper Donald Trump.”
Although the coup was complete in mere hours, a dispute about Arizona’s new name delayed the announcement until today.
Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto wanted “Montezuma” until Gov. Brown pointed out that Americans considered that name in 1864. Brown wanted the name “Nueva California” until Nieto pointed out that was the name used by Mexico after it achieved independence from the Spanish Empire in 1821.
Cartel leaders suggested “Mexifornia” to prevent violence from breaking out between the two strongmen.
Update: Only minutes after this story was first reported, cartel leaders assassinated every member of the coalition government of Mexifornia. Former governor Ducey responded by saying, “At least it’s not the Spanish Inquisition.”