Sweden ends national sex crime crisis by firing all white police officers


Citing its commitment to diversity after tracking a nationwide sex crime crisis that started in 2007, the “first feminist government in the world” has fired all its white police officers.

“After 10 years of rising fear, one third of women now feel unsafe in their own neighborhoods,” said Sweden’s Prime Minster Löfven Lunsch, leader of the Social Democrats since 2012. “That is unacceptable.”

“Yes, a large overrepresentation of sex crime suspects are from patriarchal societies in the Middle East and North Africa, and that overrepresentation is even higher when it comes to group rapes involving more than three individuals,” said Lunsch. “We had to do something.”

The Swedish National Council for Crime Prevention confirms that immigrants are 4.5 times as likely as native Swedes to commit rape, and persons from Algeria, Libya, Morocco, and Tunisia are more than 20 times as likely to commit the same crime. More than half  of all rape suspects in Sweden are either first or second generation immigrants.

“Still, Sweden is a proud beacon of feminism,” said Dagny Söderbjorn, head of the investigation section at the Stockholm police. “Almost half of Swedish legislators are women, we have the most generous parental leave in the developed world, and 66 percent of all university degrees are given to women.”

At the same time, said Söderbjorn, “We have rape victims three years old. It’s hard to explain why rape cases are piling up awaiting investigation, but the other crimes are even more serious. We are forced to choose between two evils, but what did you expect us to do? Hire more white cops?”

The Sacramento Brie is also committed to diversity. As a service to our Swedish readers, we’ve provided a translation of this article below.

Ceeting its cummeetment tu deefersity effter treckeeng a neshunveede-a sex creeme-a creesis thet sterted in 2007, zee “furst femeenist gufernment in zee vurld” hes fured ell its vheete-a puleece-a ooffffeecers.

“Effter 10 yeers ooff reesing feer, oone-a thurd ooff vumee noo feel unseffe-a in zeeur oovn neeeghburhuuds,” seeed Svedee’s Preeme-a Meenster Löffee Loonsch, leeder ooff zee Suceeel Demucrets seence-a 2012. “Thet is uneccepteble-a.”

“Yes, a lerge-a ooferrepresenteshun ooff sex creeme-a soospects ere-a frum petreeerchel suceeeties in zee Meeddle-a Iest und Nurt Effreeca, und thet ooferrepresenteshun is ifee heegher vhee it cumes tu gruoop repes infulfeeng mure-a thun three-a indeefidooels,” seeed Loonsch. “Su ve-a hed tu du sumetheeng.”

Zee Svedeesh Neshunel Cuoonceel fur Creeme-a Prefenshun cunffurms thet immeegrunts ere-a 4.5 teemes es leekely es Svedes tu cummeet repe-a, und persuns frum Elgereea, Leebya, Muruccu, und Tooneesia ere-a mure-a thun 20 teemes es leekely tu cummeet zee seme-a creeme-a. Mure-a thun helff ooff ell repe-a soospects in Svedee ere-a ieezeer furst oor secund genereshun immeegrunts. Bork Bork Bork!

“Steell, Svedee is a pruood beecun ooff femeenism,” seeed Degny Söööderbjurn, heed ooff zee infesteegeshun secshun et zee Stuckhulm puleece-a. “Elmust helff ooff Svedeesh legeesleturs ere-a vumee, ve-a hefe-a zee must generuoos perentel leefe-a in zee defeluped vurld, und 66 percent ooff ell uneefersity degrees ere-a geefee tu vumee.”

Et zee seme-a teeme-a, seeed Söööderbjurn, “Ve-a hefe-a repe-a feectims three-a yeers oold. It’s herd tu ixpleeen vhy repe-a ceses ere-a peeling up eveeeting infesteegeshun, boot zee oozeer creemes ere-a ifee mure-a sereeuoos. Ve-a ere-a furced tu chuuse-a betveee tvu ifeels, boot vhet deed yuoo ixpect us tu du? Hure-a mure-a vheete-a cups?”

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

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