Jerry Brown solves affordable housing crisis, sends working families to ‘ghost cities’ in China

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In a public policy coup only achievable by leaders of unitary one-party socialist republics, California Governor Jerry Brown and Chinese President Xi Jinping have negotiated the redistribution of thousands of American families to affordable housing tracts in the “ghost cities” of China.

Throughout China, there are hundreds of cities that have almost everything one needs for a modern, urban lifestyle: high-rise apartment complexes, developed waterfronts, skyscrapers, and even public art. Everything, that is, except one major factor: people.

“It’s a brilliant plan that combines Socialist redistribution and America’s love of immigrants,” said Sacramento Mayor Darrell Steinberg. “California has a housing crisis. China has a housing glut. Jerry and Xi make me proud to be a Socialist.”

The mysterious – and almost completely empty – cities are a part of China’s larger plan to move 300 million people into a workers paradise. Gov. Brown says places like Los Angeles and Oakland are already prepped and ready to move.

“Our container ships being loaded with emigrants now,” said Brown. “This is what Democratic Socialism is all about.”

Brown’s plan is perfect for Californians desperately hoping to escape capitalism. Unlike in the capitalist US, where cities often begin as small developments and grow in accordance to the local industries, the new Chinese cities are built to the point of near completion before introducing people.

Top 6 reasons to send Americans to Chinese ghost cities

  1. Americans won’t do the jobs that foreign immigrants will do, but as foreign immigrants they will do the jobs the Chinese won’t do.
  2. Chinese Democratic Socialism is better than American Capitalism, so we’re doing people a favor by expelling them to a workers paradise.
  3. Only Nixon could go to China, and only Brown could send his citizens to China.
  4. China owns so much real estate in America that it makes sense for Americans rent a vacant apartment in Ordos, the crowning glory of Inner Mongolia.
  5. In China, Americans will learn not to be rich, lazy, and entitled.
  6. The People’s Republic of China emits nearly a third of the world’s total carbon dioxide (CO2), but China  ratified the Paris climate change agreement and the ghost cities have virtually no carbon pollution.
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