Miss Manning: How do I terminate the visiting fellowship of a convicted spy?

The Sacramento Brie is proud to announce that Chelsea Manning has joined our editorial team. Her new “Miss Manning” column will focus on the etiquette of a rapidly-changing social landscape. We hope you enjoy her inaugural column.

MissManning-BootStomp

Miss Manning

DEAR MISS MANNING: I am the dean of a famous institution of higher learning. We recently offered a visiting fellowship to a person who was convicted of espionage, served 7 years in a military prison, and was pardoned by the president. A backlash of historic proportions has forced me to revoke the fellowship. What would be a good way to deliver the bad news?

GENTLE READER: Would you be surprised to hear that Miss Manning and her team consider it obligatory to trash and burn a party to which one was disinvited? One does not simply revoke the high ground from an activist without expecting a penalty. We politely suggest that you hire more armed security guards, board up any nearby ATM’s, and warn your fellow deans about a backlash of historic proportions. #SeeYouAtHarvard #WeGotThis

    

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