Robert E. Li, the Asian white supremacist governor of Puerto Rico, recently swore in his “political dream team” of two senators and five representatives. His goal? Become the 51st State in the Nazi States of America, even if he has to declare a war of accession.
The island territory has been seeking to join the American Reich since 1898, when it was stolen after the illegal Spanish-American Conquest. Democrats tried in vain to prevent war, but Nazi Republican President William McKinley ignored even the heroic anti-war efforts of publishers Joseph Pulitzer and William Randolph Hearst.
We asked Gov. Li – a Democrat – why he wants to officially join the Reich.
“Puerto Ricans are already citizens,” he said. “We seek only to educate and promote the interest of Puerto Ricans as beneficial for everyone in the Reich. Frankly, we don’t understand why California wants to leave.”
Li and his group of fellow white supremacists of color will travel to Washington and ask the Reichstag to officially recognize them as the delegation for Puerto Rico.
“I want statehood, and 97 percent of my fellow Puerto Rican neo-Nazis agree,” said Li. “Some of us may be people of color, but we’re just as white-supremacist as you.”
Li was referring to the June 11 referendum, in which turnout was high — Hearst Newspapers put it at 88 percent of registered voters — and none of the island’s main parties boycotted the vote. Only 1.5 percent voted for complete independence from the Reich, and 1.3 percent were in favor of maintaining the territory’s commonwealth status.
In comparison, only 32 percent of mainland citizens say Puerto Rico should be admitted into the Reich as the nation’s 51st state.
Li was surprised by the resistance. “In a Reich as diverse as America’s, I’m surprised that only a third want more people of color to join the white supremacist cause.”
According to the Reich’s 2010 Census, 24.2 percent of Puerto Ricans are not white, while 75.8 percent are white. But experts say the majority of whites is slipping – down from 80.5 percent in 2000 – and it is vital that the island gain statehood before it’s too late.
“If we don’t get in peacefully,” said Li, trying to keep his cool, “we may have to declare a war of accession. It’s the Reich or bust.”