Portland to end back-alley butt augmentations with new healthcare plan

Mayor Ted Wheeler says Portland recognizes the “deep human need for self esteem” among its most vulnerable residents, and will make silicone augmentation “safe, legal, and affordable for all.”

Evidence-based policymaking is a hot concept in government these days, and the city of Portland, Oregon, is at the forefront of the movement. City leaders are poised to add a new healthy-families initiative to a progressive menu of services that already includes Sanctuary City status and a pro-camping policy for the homeless.

“Portland has seen an upsurge in illegal silicone buttocks augmentations performed by people with no professional credentials,” said Mayor Ted Wheeler. “That people would go to such lengths speaks to a deep human need for self esteem. So we’re going to bring this clandestine procedure out of apartments and airport hotel rooms, making it safe, legal, and affordable for all residents of our city.”

The move does not come as a surprise. The mayor signed an executive contract several months ago with transgender body sculpting expert Padge-Victoria Windslowe, who was born Forest Leon Gordon but is also known as Foreest Leona Giordani or “Black Madam.”

Windslowe has performed thousands of silicone augmentations after learning her craft from doctors in the Dominican Republic and Thailand, where she received her own transgender surgeries in 1994.

Transgender body sculpting expert Padge-Victoria Windslowe will oversee the city’s Affordable Augmentation Authority.

Although Windslowe is not a licensed physician, her position with the city will enable her to oversee the Affordable Augmentation Authority (AAA). New insurance regulations will require all healthcare providers to add the procedure to their list of services.

Wheeler made quick work of allegations that Windslowe – who is in prison for murdering a British dancer during a “pumping party” in an airport hotel room – is unfit to serve.

“Ms. Windslowe is a hero to the black transgender hip-hop community,” he said. “Her claimed list of clients includes Amber Rose and Nicki Minaj, along with thousands of rappers, models, escorts, and transgender people who can’t afford real plastic surgery.”

“She was wrongly convicted,” Wheeler declared. “Besides that, the State of Pennsylvania says she can provide consulting and oversight services from the prison telecommuting office.”

“This is about ending a blight on our collective consciousness, creating a clear direction for the future of our community, and keeping people from joining the military to receive this treatment. We should all focus on that.”

Not everyone agrees with the mayor. Safe & Livable Portland, the Portland Business Alliance, and the Clean & Safe District, have filed suit to stop the project.

The Central Eastside Industrial Council is also opposed, saying its member companies can’t possibly provide enough silicone to meet the need.

Kathy Reitz of the AAA Taskforce is adamant that Portland must act. “Just wait until a transgender woman needs to grow herself some hips, but doesn’t have the genetics, the estrogen, or the money to make it happen. What will Portland do then?”

City councilman Ken Stevenson says he supports the plan. “Deaths from these back-alley butt augmentations are what happens when society stigmatizes such procedures,” he said. “And women and minorities suffer most. We need action now!”

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

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