Keith Olbermann fails to fire himself from ‘Resistance’ YouTube show

Keith Olbermann – known in the television industry as “the man fired by everyone” – tried to fire himself from his own YouTube show while protesting Donald Trump’s firing of FBI Director James Comey.

Olbermann, who wore a Jihad-style suicide vest on his latest YouTube show The Resistance with Keith Olbermann, had one of his trademark tantrums shortly before detonating the explosives.

“At this hour, one of three things is already and irretrievably underway,” Olbermann ranted. “Either the end of Trump, or the end of American democracy, or the end of me, because you cannot fire the man who is investigating you without making me a martyr.”

Keith Olbermann moments before blowing himself up.

After the explosion, Olbermann’s head was still talking as if nothing had happened.

“Even I can’t kill The Resistance,” he said triumphantly from his blood-spattered basement studio. “So, at this hour, one of TWO things is already and irretrievably underway: either the end of Trump, or the end of American democracy.”

After the show, Olbermann continued the rant on Twitter. It is not known how he accomplished the feat without any hands.

One of Olbermann’s tweets, which was apparently accomplished with no hands.

A spokesman for ISIS responded to news of the attempted martyrdom. “Keith’s talent is so huge that he doesn’t need a body,” said official spokesman Abu al-Hassan al-Muhajer. “But we greatly admire his Resistance movement, so we are offering him the body of Russian spy Yevgeny Petrenko.”

Petrenko, a Russian military officer, was recently beheaded by the terrorist organization in Syria, and Doctors Without Borders said they could perform the head reattachment surgery if Olbermann agreed.

“I appreciate al-Muhajer’s offer because we are brothers in arms,” said Olbermann. “But I don’t want the body of a Russian spy.”

Vladimir Putin said Olbermann was protesting too much. “The Petrenko family has already given their blessing, and this would allow Capt. Petrenko to continue his mission with the help of Comrade Olbermann,” he said through a translator.

Olbermann threatened to blow himself up again if the surgery was conducted against his will, but sources say the YouTube star will be walking normally again soon.

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

One thought

  1. too funny….as you suggest…no one wants to hire this loon…was friends with Brokaw….mr marble mouth…and Tim Boring us to death Russert…..if Olbermann jumped from the top of Trump tower the only problem would be to people and property where he splattered.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.