Unredacted operating instructions for Oroville Dam sex lair leaked by experts

Despite an official clampdown on records regarding Oroville Dam, experts hired by the State of California have leaked one page of operating instructions for the hidden underground sex lair.

It appears that Department of Water Resources executives knew of the lair, and sanctioned its use by dam workers under certain conditions.

Detail of sex lair operating instructions, dated 9/13/1971.

One of the most shocking instructions deals with operation of the main spillway, which reveals that workers were using the lair during regular working hours.

“While engaged in sex lair, remember to adjust the spillway outflow each hour,” the document reads. “DO NOT FORGET. You know what happened to the last person.”

It is not known what happened to the last person, or whether they were paid overtime.

Other instructions indicate that women were also using the lair, or perhaps that the rough and ready men of Oroville Dam were indulging their “feminine mystique.”

“2. Please replace Niagara Cyclo Massage into box provided, or privileges will be revoked. 3. Hollywood Vibra-Tone may only be used with prior permission. No exceptions.”

Both devices mentioned in the “notes” section of the document are “massagers” (not “vibrators” although research indicates they were sometimes called “spot reducers”).

The date on the document – September 13, 1971 – may provide a clue as to why the sex lair was so secret. It wasn’t until the late 1970s that sex toys shed their image as “home appliances.” The first Good Vibrations store in San Francisco opened around 1977, jumpstarting the “vibrator revolution.”

No one knows when the Oroville lair was last used. Those who do know aren’t talking to the press yet, but our reporters are looking for the “F.P. Koisch” who approved the instruction sheet. The other name could not be deciphered in time for this report.

Author: Huey P. Newsom

Huey P. "Navin" Newsom was born a poor black child who reported illegal immigrants to ICE before he wised up and invented the Sanctuary City. Today, Navin is the governor-in-waiting of California. As the leader of the Democratic Socialists for Self Defense, he plans to wall off the city of Oakland to protect undocumented immigrants from Darrell Steinberg's secret Nazi police force.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.