In December 2016, no one noticed when California State University Sacramento joined Second Nature, an alliance that charges universities money to publish unverified information in a giant, biased, “climate-action” database.
“To be honest,” said an official under condition of anonymity, “Second Nature just makes most of us feel inferior about our carbon neutrality work. Which is why we keep paying thousands of dollars in dues. It’s like a gambling addiction.”
Using the Second Nature Reporting Platform, 650 member institutions share their yearly progress on climate action plans, greenhouse gas inventories, and more.
Unfortunately, says the fine print, “unbiased normalization metrics are unavailable.” Meaning that comparisons between incredibly diverse universities are extremely difficult if not literally impossible.
In a vain effort to make themselves feel better than their colleagues, university presidents distribute Second Nature flowcharts to staff that encourage “Integrating Resilience” and “Conducting Resilience Assessments.”
Nevertheless, officials said they were proud to join the network. “Federal government money is imperative to maintaining this ginormous set of useless data,” the university told The Brie from its NoReply email address. “Just think of all the busywork we’re creating for university employees.”
Someone from CSUS also attended the 2017 Presidential Climate Leadership Summit, Feb. 13-15, in Tempe, AZ, which no one noticed either.
The announcement came just over a month after Donald Trump was elected President.